Satire Project Bailey Craft


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  • Hi! Bailey here, and I'm here on behalf of all LGBT people out there currently. I would be grateful if you would listen to what I have to say.
  • 'Bisexuals should just pick and choose! They're not truly gay if they're dating someone of the opposite gender! Asexuality doesn't exist! You can't have a relationship without sex!'
  • For example, my best friend happens to be asexual and aromantic, meaning she feels no sexual or romantic attraction. I have another friend who is homosexual and is in a happy relationship with another guy. Us gays gotta stick together!
  • First of all, what IS LGBT? Well, it stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bi, and Trans. There are many more sexualities and gender identities out there though!
  • Seriously though... We are people, too. Please treat us like it. Thank you for listening.
  • Unfortunately, people don't seem to agree with our ways of life. Have you ever heard of conversion therapy?
  • I wouldn't do well in therapy... It's awful.
  • Concerned about having a gay friend? Worried that they might try and flirt with you? It's pretty gross, right? Good thing us LGBT people tend to naturally gravitate toward each other.
  • We love it when you tell us our sexuality or identity is "just a phase", or that we need to "get help", or when you tell us our sexuality or identity doesn't exist, instead of supporting us like you should be doing!
  • Don't even get me started on the bullying. It really grinds my gears... But then again, all us LGBT people are just way too sensitive, right? We deserve to be beaten and humiliated and picked on, just because we deviate from the norm.
  • (Unless we're actually evil aliens from another planet coming to whisk away all anti-LGBT people and drop them onto another planet?! How cool would that be?)
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