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  • In the next land we found were Cyclopes, giants who knew none but savage and unrighteous ways, and knew not of any culture or creed, ignorant of the existence of the immortal gods. We saw one such Cyclops who had set out from his inhabitance, a cavern, and my twelve greatest fighters and I decided to venture into it, as I seeked conversation with the massive creature.
  • Upon entering the dwelling, my men make sound propositions such as apprehension of this giant's possessions.. Sound propositions. But I did not want to steal from a possibly noble creature, and decided to wait so I may talk to this beast, meanwhile only snacking on a bit of his cheese, a decision that proved to be very foolish in retrospect. I tried to negotiate with the beast and introduced him the the Greek customs of hospitality, but to no avail. He feasted on my men, trapped us within his cave, and I found a hiding place under his table, a place to plan and think...
  • I do not care of your troubles! How dare you invade my home? Your men will be my lunch!
  • My men and I have traveled long and far-
  • I waited and each day a couple of my men became his repast, until the cunning notion to inebriate the beast with some liquor once gifted to me by the son of Euanthes . After the Cyclops had become drunken, and I had earned his trust, telling him my name is Nohbdy, I used a large stick, sharpened and heated, and with a great collaboration from my men, drove this stick through the Cyclops' sole eye, rendering him blind.
  • Nohbdy!!!! You have tricked me!!!!!
  • The cyclops flees his cave, exclaiming that Nohbdy had wronged him, and I am unable to restrain a chuckle at the Cyclops' expense.
  • Nohbdy has done this to me!!
  • Arghhh!
  • Ah, well, if no other is at fault for your harm, you are best off praying to your father, Poseidon.
  • Fellow Cyclops! Who is to blame for your dismay?
  • Using the sheep as cover from the Cyclops' keen senses, we escape the cave just under the nose of the beast, who was trying to herd his goats, as he was when we first caught glimpse of him several days before.
  • Come, my herd, before these treacherous humans escape.
  • And (in retrospect, foolishly) to the discomfort of my crew, escaping the island in my ship, I tell the son of the god Poseidon my true name and residence... After which he prays to the god of the sea that my crew and I am setting out on.
  • Poseidon, if you are truly my father, be sure that Odysseus of Ithaca have a miserable journey!
  • Haha! Foolish brute! I am truly Odysseus of Ithaca!
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