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  • I hate my job
  • narrator
  • why am I so ugly??
  • Jacob
  • narrator
  • narrator
  • The narrator works at the Toronto Commissions lost and found.Along with his supervisor Jacob.As he describes him as a deflated soccer ball with 2 of the hairiest ears you have ever seen.
  • While the narrator was looking around in the lost and found he saw a nice leather jacket that he takes home and keeps for himself.Then he finds a dusty shelf with a bunch of books and one was different it was a hard cover and it was old and musty it seemed like a science notebook until he read "On March 14 two cats were found hanging by their necks from lengths of chain,nailed to telephone poles.This made him very curious.
  • Wayne
  • More in depth on Wayne and the narrator
  • Narrator
  • Then the narrator came home put his leather coat away and laid down, and went to sleep.He ended up having a dream,but it was always the same him screwing up.But this time he was swimming in the ocean,and he noticed a little girl and she was drowning but he did not realize that she was drowning in time and she ended up dying.Then he suddenly woke up.This was a nightmare he said because this actually happened the girls name was Maya and he was the only one who could save her but failed.
  • The next morning he meets with his friend who has only 2 and a half fingers due to a birth effect.But he prefers telling people a bulldog bit it off.Anyway they got to there friend s place named"Dairy Barn" his name is Wayne.And they get an employee discount which is 2 for the price of one.
  • These two met when they were very young and have gone through many situations.Such as getting arrested together,community service,and beating the crap out of each other a few times.There were set to be juvenile delinquents,all because of this major plan.
  • Yes there major plan was to steal a toilet using a shopping cart to transport it about a mile back to were they live.Wayne talked the narrator into stealing this because he said its worth 600 dollars for a new toilet.As he always said "Easy money.Nobody gets hurt.Of course things did not go to plan, as they were walking down the stairs it was heavier then they thought and their hands became sweaty.Then they both lost there grip and the 600 dollar toilet fell down the stairs thud after thud it was finally over and there was a cop down stairs
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