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  • "I never knew I would miss my babies so much. I haven't even had a jury case in the last year."
  • "Your will receive 5 years in prison for your third offense of breaking and entering."
  • "You will receive a lifetime in prison and limbs removed for the stealing of a dollar from your cousin."
  • "Sir, you are here for the accused and multiple attempts of murder of Mr. Ryan Johnson. Let us have a moment of silence for the trauma you have caused."
  • Is it bad that I am attracted to a dead person?
  • Why does the judge and the murderer both have red eyes?
  • My golly, I think my sweet potato fries are burning ... Why am I even here, as long as it ain't me, or my 43 cats, I could care less about a murder
  • I hope I set my t.v. to record "The Bachelor"
  • Ryan Johnson January 17, 2094- July 23, 2119
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