Journal. Speak Kayla Kurtz
SPEAK Laurie Halse Anderson 1999 Kayla Kurtz English 10 4th hour
Melinda has had a rough time the past couple of months. Over the summer she was put into a position that forced her to do something she didn't want to do. Once everyone found out, what she, melinda is made fun of at school. It forces her to have low self esteem to be an outcast, and she is depressed and distant to everyone including her parents and the one person that tries to be her friend. Melinda was forced to do something she didn't want to because it was the right thing, and I believe that this is a hardship that will shape her future and what is thrown her way for the rest of school. I can already see changes in Melinda’s personality she is taking a liking to art, and she is helping her friend. Her parenting are noticing her and giving her enlightenment in who she is and how she acts. “I almost tell them right then and there. Tears flood my eyes. They notice i’ve been trying to draw. They noticed.” Melinda is feeling important, her parents made her feel essential.
Temptations and Loneliness
Melinda is faced with tough decision that makes her an outcast because of something she was forced to do at a party. She is then faced with bullies and people ignoring her, people that used to be her friends are rude to her and act like she does not even exist. I think at some point someone will realize what she did was what had to be done and Melinda will feel like she belongs that she is important and no matter what happened it was what needed to happen. “You silly, you draw better than me and you have plenty of time.” She is starting to get more involved, and feeling more confident in herself.
She dresses in sweats and worn out jeans, sneakers with holes. She dresses to be invisible Milinda does not want anyone to notice her she likes to be unseen and out of everyone's way. Mentally she is depressed and feels like a nobody she doesn't feel like she is needed or that she has a purpose. Melinda does not care about school or really anything, but art class. She finds it is interesting to make one object out of whatever she can, to her she can express her feelings in a way that is exciting to her. I also think she is confused and hurt because she is suppressing her emotions and thoughts bottling them up, eventually it will have to come out and she will blow up. All of her emotions rolling out like a waterfall, or pop fizz overflowing after it has been shaken up. “She holds my current grades by two fingers: D,C,B,C-C,A. No basketball team for me , because the A was in art, so my GPA is a whoppinng 1.7.” Art is what she cares about and it definitely shows in her grades.
Melinda struggles to reach her journey's end because, the people she is surrounded by are rude to her, thy make her want to be invisible and just never noticed. Her parents are never home and never act like they notice anything she does besides her grades, and they if they do notice they fight about it. She doesn't tell anyone anything. Melinda lashes out and destroys her grades she acts like nothing matters to make her parents notice her. She hides at school to avoid the truth of what she did and how her old friends hate her. She resents having a new friend and is closed off to everyone. “I just do what i'm told.” She doesn't want to cause any problems at school because she doesn't want to be noticed or even seen.
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