LAMB SLAUGHTER SB

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  • Mrs Maloney had been eagerly waiting for her husband to return home from work. When he finally got home, he seemed to be in a strange, standoffish mood.
  • Mrs Maloney tried to improve her husband's mood by offering him food and drink. He said 'no' to everything and told her to sit down."I'm leaving you." Mr Maloney said. "Don't make a fuss about it, it will only make a mess for my job - i don't want people knowing what is going on. Stop crying, you're being stupid."
  • Mrs Maloney was suddenly very angry. How dare he not consider her feelings. She headed down to the cellar, and started hunting for a frozen leg of lamb. She heard Mr Maloney shout "for god's sake, don't make me supper. I'm going out."
  • At that point, Mary Maloney simply walked up behind him and without any pause she swung the big frozen leg of lamb high in the air and brought it down as hard as she could on the back of his head.
  • Without panicking at all, Mrs Maloney realised she now needed an alibi. She put the leg of lamb in the oven to cook and headed to the local shop so that someone could give her a handy alibi.
  • Mrs Maloney headed home to find police at her door. She told them her alibi, acting terribly upset, and asked them if they wanted some lamb for dinner - save it going to waste. They agreed, and ate all the evidence they would ever have.
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