beTTeR ThEn Oj
All rise, today's case involves the Plaintiff, Miss Alice the Blood Hunt Banshee versus the Defendant, Mr Yorm the Cyclopes.
Of course your honor. the litigant mr. yorm over there had trespassed on my property and destroyed some graves in my yard, I am suing for $6,000 to repair for damages.
Miss Alice if you could please, state to the jury why you wished to partake in litigation against Mr Yorm here.
And the defense over here wishes to reply with a counterclaim to these damages, Mr Yorm if you would please explain.
Yes your honor. My litigation guardian is not here as you know due to their size so you will have to pardon that. As for the counterclaim, she had stolen my sports equipment, and i had hurt myself getting them back in the process, as she refused to give them to me.
In all honesty I just want this over with, all of the third party claims you both had were faulty and during the pre-trial conference, you two absolutely refused to come to a settlement, let alone an out of court one, over such a simple matter.
Sadly I have to actually judge this mess that both of you are clearly just trying to win for the sake of winning now, In this case I cannot come to a default judgement as you two were actually able to agree that this is something the court system should care about.
Due to the reasoning of Yorm the Cyclopes and his explanation of how he had attempted to reason with Miss Alice, his cause of action allows the balance of probabilities to lie with him, all medical expenses will be paid for by Miss Alice, now out of my courtroom before I charge you both for loitering.
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