HAMLET

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  • I am afraid that will be tough. He is at a place where dead bodies are.
  • I’ve sent men to find him and retrieve the body. How dangerous to have this madman on the loose! Too bad that the people love him that we cannot jail him. Where is he now!
  • Hey, Guildenstern! Bring in my lord.
  • Outside, my lord, under guard, waiting for your orders.
  • But where is he?
  • Bring him before me.
  • Not where he’s eating, but where he’s being eaten. Worms are the emperor of all diets. We fatten up all creatures to feed ourselves, and we fatten ourselves for the worms to eat when we’re dead.
  • Now, Hamlet, where’s Polonius?
  • He is in heaven.Send a messager there if you want to be sure. If your messenger can’t find him, you can check hell yourself. But seriously, if you don’t find him within the next month, you’ll be sure to smell him.
  • Where is Polonius?
  • Go seek him now.
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