Miss Miserable on holiday

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  • I am absolutely loving my holiday. Laying on the sand is literally the best thing ever!
  • Basically when I got a divorce I got loads of money so thats why I'm on holiday with me best mate Jan x
  • Come to think of it, where is Jan? I haven't seen her since last night.. maybe she's in a ditch somewhere because we partied so hard haha!
  • Ring ring... oh its jan let me answer it.. hi honey, where are you?
  • What? What do you mean you got married Jan you're such a dumb bimbo why would you get married when you're drunk? 
  • Oh well screw you, go away with the man you've only known for 5 minutes.. bitch. You're a dumb bimbo! Goodbye! Fuck me I need a cigarette
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