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I am absolutely loving my holiday. Laying on the sand is literally the best thing ever!
Basically when I got a divorce I got loads of money so thats why I'm on holiday with me best mate Jan x
Come to think of it, where is Jan? I haven't seen her since last night.. maybe she's in a ditch somewhere because we partied so hard haha!
Ring ring... oh its jan let me answer it.. hi honey, where are you?
What? What do you mean you got married Jan you're such a dumb bimbo why would you get married when you're drunk?
Oh well screw you, go away with the man you've only known for 5 minutes.. bitch. You're a dumb bimbo! Goodbye! Fuck me I need a cigarette
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