Hamlet

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  • Hamlet has slain Polonius? We must not allow Hamlet to get away with it. Such a man is not be treated harshly, he is loved by his people! Bring him to me!
  • What's dead cannot be revived my lord!
  • Polonius is currently at supper, not eating but being eaten by a convocation of politic worms. You may send your messenger to find him, but if you do not find him within this month, you shall find him dead up the stairs of the lobby.
  • Where is Polonius? What did you do to him?
  • Yes, my majesty.
  • You are a mad man! Hence, you will be sent to England!
  • 1 week later...
  • My lord, the ship carrying Hamlet did not arrive in England! Instead, they his is coming back to court!
  • WHAT?! Bring me Laertes, I will need his aid.
  • With pleasure, my lord. But I will need a poisoned blade to make the job easier.
  • Laertes, I have a plan to kill the man who killed your father and causes your sister to die of insanity. You will need to challenge Hamlet to a fencing match, killing him in the process.
  • Fine, a poisoned blade it is.
  • Spread the word that King Claudius is dead and he was the one who killed my father. I appoint you as the new king. Farewell...
  • No, stay with me! You are not going to die! Noooo......
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