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  • When I was younger, my brother despised me. He would constantly put down on me, and not in a brotherly joking way.
  • This sowed seeds of low self-esteem and self doubt. Later on, it was hard to think that people would actually like somebody as horrible as me.
  • My father is a pastor, which immediately puts pressure on me, pressure they didn't necessarily intend to put on me.
  • No matter what, I felt like I had to live up to all of these rules in the Bible, and I was a failure if I didn't
  • When I was a freshman, I had a crush. Problem was, she had a boyfriend and wasn't interested in me. We were friends, and only friends.
  • When I was a freshman, I had a crush on a girl. Problem is, she had a boyfriend.
  • I shouldn't let my feelings get in the way of other people's happiness.
  • I was sad, but I wasn't going to say anything to anyone. I didn't want them to break up. They were happy. Why should my feelings matter if they were happy?
  • She wasn't into me. I wasn't going to say anything or try and break them up. They were happy. Why should I stop that?
  • I had always thought I would be the first one to get a girlfriend, since Carter was homsechooled and met less people.
  • My best friend Carter started dating my friend Katelyn, and I got to be a third wheel.
  • Thing got worse when my best friend Carter started dating another friend, Katelyn. Being a third wheel is not fun.
  • Again , I said nothing. They were happy, so my feelings didn't matter. I didn't want to get in the way of their happiness.
  • A couple of other events transpired, but they all fell under those umbrellas mentioned earlier
  • Eventually, I had devalued my own feelings and desires so much that it got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I was ready to die.
  • Until my mom noticed.
  • Since I was a teenager, I wouldn't say anything to my mom about this, so she called my friend Mackenzie
  • She came over, and I cried my eyes out, letting everything out. She listened and comforted me.
  • This led me to seek out counseling, and after a few months, I had a higher opinion of myself. I valued myself and my feelings while still caring about others
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