it started with a camping trip to her ranch. my mind was flooding with fake scenerios for this event. and out of pure ignorance, i was focused on one thing and one thing only for this trip, to grow closer to her, i felt as if this is where i get to see how she could feel about me, boy i was wrong
in the back of the van, we were all talking with each other and minding our businesses, till she started a bit touchy with my friend Raymond, putting his hand on her thigh, and forcingly interlocking arms, Raymond felt uncomfortable in the current situation, considering he knows what my plan was for this trip, it started become more clear
the trip only begun and i never ive already lost, ive never really considered the nature of she acts to both of us during school, the only thing i felt out my desperation was that "OhoOh im special." everything tightens, and my mood is destroyed
i spent the majority of the time not really involving myself inside the activities she was forcing upon both of us to do. i was generally interested in some of the attractions on this field, yet my mental state was taking a tole on my entire body, you can even say on the verge of tears at some point of the trip
ever since all those events took place in one, I developed a corrupted mindset about her, seeing everything in a one sided view. she already has a few screws loose in her head, yet ever "childish" think she did made me feel a wave of depression I haven't felt before. i hated myself feeling so conflicted about the decision to just leave or giving her another chance. she never knew about how i felt ever, and I was too scared to even mention it to her because I believe the full story would make everything awkward between us, might I add, a worse situation
but after reconciling and putting in time, I have finally come realize and come to acceptance in the friendship I'm in, its an important rule that you can make anyone just fall for you. i started to realize how she acts for me, and I take awareness on the way that i act towards her. i got so upset over such a ironic and dumb issue that its almost laughable. but the lesson to take from this, is that people care about you, and you shouldn't pull the plug on them over a silly situation
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