Growing up I never wanted to be me, have you ever felt the same
Sophia is so much more prettier then me
This Sophia as a kid
I lived in a small trailer park
I hate my hair I’m so ugly everyone thinks it
I heard but didn't listen
Now that’s how I should be this is the pretty me the good me
I should have black hair and blue eyes#160;I like that or should I look like Sophia no I don't think so
I just love this new lipstick but I don't think it’ll like good on you with your red hair and all
I was a girl locked in a box scared of what was on the outside. I stayed in the background and would never utter a word unless I was asked. But what I feared most was judgment. The slightest judgment would tear my box right away
In my mind this would be me
I never like myself growing up I was always compared to my twin sister Sophia whos beauty was beyond the standers. But my red hair and pale skin made me an outcast from everyone and I hated myself for it
like I said that was only imagination
eventually everything went into my head. I would actually listen if I was interested but that rarely happened. Most of the time I would just think about the world and or my hobbies, but it seem one of my favourite things to do is compare myself to what I think I should look like. This person was who I was suppose to be, but this was not the real ME. Just who I wanted to be #160;
So I started healing asap
I'll wait a little bit longer then ill move out but in the mean time lets change some things
I was the most popular girl in school and on social media I had beautiful black hair and clear fair skin with the most gorgeous blue eyes. I looked good in every thing but of course this was only imagination. Though this imagination truly was taking away more of#160;myself esteem then anyone could, little did I know that by judging myself#160;continually#160;I was tearing big holes in my box from the inside.
But one day at work my box broke. A little girl walked in with her mom at the sports store#160;I worked at "mommy look she has weird red hair" the little girl said almost concerned. Her words broke me and my box so that when I decided I want to get out of my box. I want to leave this place I have stuck myself in. But I will not change what I look on the outside. I wanted to like my red hair and pale skin. I wanted to like ME.
I want to be confident in myself trulyyyy
I said I didn't want to do a huge change like change my hair colour get super tan or even change my personality. NO. I wanted too like the original me the one I would teared down every time I looked in the mirror, the one who was compared numerous times to unrealistic thoughts of imagination. only I added a few things to boost my self esteem such as growing long beautiful red hair and changing my style to fit me. #160;
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