The Story of Officer John F. Parker

This will much easier, after years of carpentry work!
Officer John Parker is hired as part of Washington D.C.'s new Metropolitan Police Force in 1861.
At first, Officer Parker enjoyed walking his beat, making friends and chatting to business owners.
Officer Parker started to lose focus and slip up. Once, he had to go to a disciplinary hearing after he was found sleeping on a streetcar while on duty.
But, Sir! I heard ducks quacking on the streetcar!
Despite this and other incidents, Officer Parker was assigned as one of the personal bodyguards of President Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War.
It's not a big deal or anything, the President has four personal bodyguards...
Officer Parker wandered down to the theater lobby to meet up with friends while the play went on. No one caught the murderer sneaking up behind President Lincoln...
WHAT WAS THAT!?
Is this my fault? It's not like I killed him. There were 3 other guards...
Mrs. Lincoln blamed Officer Parker for Lincoln's murder, but he worked at the White House for three more years before being fired for sleeping on the job.

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