Bureau of Secrecy

Coffee cup on table, Chief smashes cigarette butt
Flickering, swinging light
Glare
Glare
I’ve heard about you, but you’re not ready for a career at The Bureau of Secrecy.
You haven’t heard enough...
OS
Let’s get to the interview…
Glare
Glare
OS
What are your weaknesses?
OS
I don’t discuss weaknesses.
OS
What are your strengths?
OS
If I told you, I’d have to kill you.
OS
Why are you leaving your current position at Top Secret Security?
OS
It’s classified.
OS
What are three positive things your boss would say about you?
OS
My boss doesn’t even know I exist.
OS
What can you do for us that other agents can’t?
OS
Why?
It’s a secret.
I can’t tell you that.
I don’t discuss weaknesses.
OS
What’s the last project you worked on?
OS
Nice try.
OS
I don’t discuss weaknesses.
Where do you buy your underwear?
Fine. Where do you buy your underwear?
Least favorite music group?
What would be your rapper name?
...
Elaborate.
Welcome to the Bureau of Secrecy.
I’ll only proceed if this is off the record.
Victoria’s Secret.
Disclosure.
...
You have to stab them to find out what they’re hiding.
Big Enigma.