The Utterly Perfect Murder
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- I will arise now, after 36 years, and kill Ralph Underhill!
- Happy 48th Birthday Doug!
- I am going on a business trip
- Sometimes I wish you would just fly!
- Doug, where are you going?
- Why would I fly when I could oil this gun and plot out the murder, and remember what Ralph did to me!?
- I will trade you that baseball glove for this statue! Even though it's the Great Depression.
- 25¢
- Sure!
- $ 2
- Haha!
- Stop Ralph!
- Ralph needed Doug to hit and Doug needed Ralph to be hit
- Now since I am in Greenville, I will find Ralph Underhill, and kill him!
- Doug, is that you?
- (Breathing heavily and in shock)
- Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
- I knew that I would never actually use the gun!
- Who is it? Please tell me!
- Doug!
- Doug, Doug Spaulding, is that you? Please tell me who you are?
- Doug it is your future self! Come outside with me, and leave this town!
- Wait for me!
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