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Whiskey Tax Rap Battle- Shaunak Soni
Updated: 3/15/2020
Whiskey Tax Rap Battle- Shaunak Soni
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  • I got this! Plus, he loves me! I mean everyone does so...
  • There's a problem arising with this new Whiskey Tax. Hamilton, take the floor and lay down the facts.
  • Sir, Mr. Washington, no need to fret. This new tax will get us out of debt. We can send our military at the rioters to attack. It's not like the rebels are gonna fight back. Hey Jefferson, can you even try to match that. No, you can't, you little scaredy-cat.
  • Interesting.
  • Oh no! That was good! But I got this!
  • Actually yes, Hamilton, I'll do it right now. Y'know you sound like a dying sea cow. Farmers are going bankrupt because of this tax. Too bad you can't even see that. This tax is about 30% of their salary. Are you trying to cause a mutiny, and then an anarchy? Nah man, you're making us panicky.
  • Of course I can see that! It's just that risks are required for success!
  • This tax is good for the economy. I mean, honestly, I swear solemnly, This tax is just the best policy. It'll get us onto our feet, cuz right now we're wobbly. Yeah, Jefferson, it's all true. But it's probably too much for you to chew.
  • Can he/I come back from this?
  • Of course he can! He is Thomas Jefferson after all! But, now it's harder to choose! Aaaaaa!
  • Revolts are happening, people are dying, while you just sit over here, whining. You could try to counter what I just said. But, of course, you can't cuz there's nothing going on in your head
  • So who will he choose? Though I did speak better, (obviously), it was a bit close.
  • I knew he loved me!
  • Yeah Hamilton, I agree with you. I'll send an army to break them up too. We're gonna continue to collect the tax. We're gonna take our economy to the max! We'll put the suspected rioters on trials. We'll make 'em travel roughly 300 miles! Show the people we ain't no pushover. Show the people that we dominate all over. (Plus, we'll get rid of their hangover.)
  • I won the Whiskey Tax Rap Battle!
  • Awww... I guess I'm just not good at public speaking
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