"I will trade you my fattest pig for your daughter."
"A heart full of love"
"What have you got?" "I would rather have a pig."
“Myra’s head is as empty as a flowerpot.”
"Elya, what's wrong?"
"I’m in love with Myra Menke. But Igor Barkov has offered to trade his fattest pig for her. I can’t compete with that.”
Up The mountain
"Stanley’s great-great-grandfather was named Elya Yelnats. He was born in Latvia. When he was fifteen years old he fell in love with Myra Menke. Elya went to her father to ask for her hand, but so did Igor Barkov, the pig farmer. Igor was fifty-seven years old. He had a red nose and fat puffy cheeks."
Time to get clean!
To win Myra, Elya went to Madame Zeroni for help. She told him Myra was a fool, but Elya was ignorant. Finally, she gave him a piglet, the runt of the litter, and told him to carry the pig up the mountain every day. Then, sing it a song as it drinks from the stream. After this was all over, Elya had to carry Madame Zeroni up the mountain, or he and his family would be cursed for all eternity.
“I guess I choose Elya—No, Igor. No, Elya. No, Igor. Oh, I know! I’ll think of a number between one and ten. I’ll marry whoever guesses the closest number. Okay, I’m ready.”
“Why not? It doesn’t matter to me. A pig is a pig.”
"Every day Elya carried the little piglet up the mountain and sang to it as it drank from the stream. As the pig grew fatter, Elya grew stronger. On the day of Myra’s fifteenth birthday, Elya’s pig weighed over fifty stones. Madame Zeroni had told him to carry the pig up the mountain on that day as well, but Elya didn’t want to present himself to Myra smelling like a pig."
"Instead, he took a bath. It was his second bath in less than a week. Then he led the pig to Myra’s. Igor Barkov was there with his pig as well."
"Alas, poor Elya should have carried his pig up the mountain one last time. The two pigs weighed exactly the same."
“Why not let Myra decide?”
"He had no sailing experience, but the ship’s captain signed him aboard. The captain could see that Elya was a man of great strength. Not everybody could carry a full-grown pig up the side of a mountain. It wasn’t until the ship had cleared the harbor and was heading out across the Atlantic that he suddenly remembered his promise to carry Madame Zeroni up the mountain. He felt terrible."