Xanax

Xanax
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  • Bye, Mom! I promise I won't do anything I'm not supposed to!
  • Okay, we're going on our date now, Jamiroquai!  DON'T. EAT. THE XANAX™.
  • Aight, where's the Xanax™??? Oh - I found it! As a 5'3, 95lb 7 year old, I am not only not of legal age to consume this medication, but am also not of a large enough body mass to handle such a copious amount of medication , but, oh well, at least it doesn't cause anaphylactic  reaction!
  • I can feel my nervous system shutting down - and infact, I think my heart rate has diminished to to just under 35 BPM, I can really feel my life force draining from my body! 
  • Wow, I guess having those 18 bars of xanax really took a toll on me!
  • Oh no! - It appears the child is has overdosed on some sort of controlled prescription narcotic, and is currently suffering  symptoms of loss of consciousness, aspiration of saliva, vomiting, a very shallow, slow heart rate, and a depressed nervous system!
  • Now that we know that he has ingested Xanax™, we should continue with the stomach pumping to remove the  foreign substance from his body, and administer intravenous fluids with various other medications in order to counter the apparent overdose.
  • While he is safe, what matters is that this situation could have been prevent with a caregiver of some sort, and not an overwhelming lack of responsibility on your part!
  • Thank god we found Jamiroquai fast enough, or else the Xanax™ would have affected his brain stem and CNS enough to stop his breathing and and stop his heart.
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