Mama...Where is papa? He hasn't been here for a while now
He's in a trip far away... He'll be back
When I was a kid, I keep hearing fights and arguments of my dad and my mom every morning. (Great alarm clock actually). My grandpa rushes in to get me in our room. That was my morning routine every single day im a bit lucky if they aren't home.
But one day... I didn't hear anything. Actually I heard something, instead of shouting I heard "goodbye". As I open my eyes I saw a glimpse of my dad with a huge backpack and I saw them talking. Then I fell asleep again
After to what happened, I always ask my mom where is dad.
I was a fool for believing that I still have a father. My mom is just comforting me saying he's going to be back. But in reality, it was broken already. This was the lie I was told from my childhood. After dad was gone, I became violent I keep fighting my cousin for no reason to the point that they are going to move away from us because of me. I dont know how to handle the anger and the sadness that I got when I was a child because my mom is busy. Once I realized the truth, my world shattered out of jealousy and hatred.
As naive as I am I simply just waited for him at the door every night. My dad visits us once a week but it became months. I still wait for him every night at the door sitting in my lolo's chair at his sewing machine.
Soon after, I realized as I was getting older that he has his own family. I remember seeing them because my grandma from my father's side and I visited them. They were perfect my step little brother named Juñio (to follow my name) I wanted that experience so much but I know in my heart that it's not going to go back the way it was.
To quote my favorite line from The Good Place "If my dad has truly changed, then that means he was always capable of change, but I just wasn't worth changing for"-Eleanor Shellstrop