Ah, I feel disgusting everywhere! My stomach and head hurt.
You there, are you alright? You look sick in the stomach!
Thank God you're alright! And I am a qualified doctor, so everything is fine.
I suspect you may have E. Coli or a similar gut bacterium.
E. Coli is a bacterium commonly found in the guts of warm-blooded living things.
Most strains aren't dangerous, but live in our guts as part of our healthy bacterial flora.
However, a few nasty strains like the one I'm guessing you have can cause bad diarrhoea, stomach pain and vomiting.
E. Coli is mostly transmitted through contaminated food and water.
By hiding in your food, the virus bypasses your body's first line of defence, and can even survive your strong stomach acid.
Possibly you undercooked the meat you had last night or had some dodgy salad.
It then attaches itself to your small intestine and releases toxins into the intestine, causing the symptoms you are feeling.
Wow! Wait, so how are my intestines not falling apart and all over the floor already?
If this still isn't enough, lymphocyte cells that are smarter than I am generate a response that identify the bacteria as foreign from the body, and attach to the E. Coli specific antigens using antibodies.
That my dear, is all thanks to your amazing immune system. Once your body detects these foreign micro-organisms, Phagocytes from the bloodstream engulf and destroy the bacterial cells. This produces the fever you may be feeling