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*Gasps* Mmmmmm… GLITTER?! Do tell me more!
SO, this magical product is called… GLITTER!!!
*clasps hand on lap* So, it’s a finely ground powder of the teeth of stupid powerful men, opium crystals and *sniff sound* good ol’ crack cocaine!
Yeah, that definitely is going to do the job! How does it work?
It comes in three easy steps! Step one, go to your local reliable dealer in your favorite alley and purchase it. Step two, run home as fast as you can so no one can see you. And step three, say fuck it and snort everything in one sitting. PRO TIP! Make sure to take the glitter 30 to 60 minutes before plotting world domination. Glitter is most effective when taken in this time frame, since it takes a little while for the “magic” to circulate and stimulate your skien. However, Glitter may be taken up to 4 hours before powerful activity and still be effective.
*arm swing* jheeze that is so easy! How much is it?
Disclaimers would fly over the top in red font really fast
For the solid price of $4.97, you *points to the camera* will be able to obtain not just half a bag of glitter, BUT A FULL BAG! And if you call in right now, for the low low price of $19.20 you’ll be able to get TWO FULL bags of glitter!!
Wow! That’s amazing! I definitely think my husband will be willing to kill the king now with my help while im on this!
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