Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Three beers, please
I have two friends who have their birthday on the same day as each other. One lives in Australia and the other lives in America. We cant celebrate together so instead we all drink a beer for each other.
Nobody. I gave up drinking.
Two beers, please
Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Next time, take off the candles.
Thank you, grandpa. The violin you gave me for my last birthday already brought me a lot of money.