Bullies! They are everywhere! Free me from their abusive capture. What’s the reason? What did I ever do to you? Why won’t this torment end? I wish I was like them, those who are free.
What is the purpose of this? Why do I need to suffer for things I didn’t want. Is this there any hope left for me? From these bullies that are surrounding me? Those people are having fun and enjoying themselves for who they are. Unlike me, they are free from the shackles of abuse and pain.
I asked for help. I screamed and begged to be free from this endless pain of mockery and judgments. Yet no one answers.
I myself know that I am not alone, yet somehow, I feel that way. Am I truly alone to suffer? Is this the last of my sanity clinging on?
It then dawned on me, there were never any bullies. No one was actually around, tormenting me for things I never did or asked. It was all in my head. My head itself. A delusion made from fear, worry, and sadness.Those nightmares where I thought someone was making fun of my frail spirit, oh how foolish of me!
The delusions I saw and felt weren’t bullies, those were the thoughts of me being a weak creature.Haunting me for days on end. The bullies were versions of me who could’ve been better, stronger, and wiser. But I failed to provide. Perhaps those versions of me were answers themselves. A key to become better.
But they didn’t. I felt oppressed and pressured to become someone my fears want me to be. If only I knew this earlier, the pain would be gone.
But I’m here in the darkness again. Once more failing to comply with who the delusions want to be.This time, which version of me is here to abuse my well-being?