An illustration of the four principles of Nonviolent Communication, in a student affairs setting.
Thank you for meeting with me. I wanted to talk to you about my schedule. I am very upset about my hours being cut.
I'm glad you came to see me, Judith. Tell me what brings you in today.
Step 2: Express your feelings.
Step 3: Clarify your needs.
I guess I am feeling confused, and a little scared. I need to work as much as possible to pay my rent.
I see that you are upset, and I am glad you came to talk to me. Can you tell me a bit more bout how you are feeling about your hours?
Step 1: Observing without evaluating.
So what I am hearing you say is that because of your decrease in hours in the office, you are worried about being able to meet your financial needs. Is that correct?
Paraphrase! Summarize the key message, and invite correction to express empathy.
Step 4: Request an action that would fulfill a need.
I think if I could add 5 more hours back to my weekly schedule, I would be able to make rent. Would that be possible?
The prospect of not being able to pay rent or eat is very scary, so I hear your concerns. Can you think of anything we could do today that might make you feel less nervous about being able to pay rent?
Really? That's great! What a relief!
The budget is tight, but I think that your request is very reasonable and I would be happy to add 5 hours back to your schedule.
I don't think so. I think I'm all good. Thank you for hearing my concerns. I feel so much better.
Wonderful! I am thrilled we were able to find a happy solution, and I really appreciate you coming to talk to me about your concern. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about today?