Having crushes can be one of the most exciting and fun things about childhood, but sometimes they don’t always go as planned. Even though my crushes didn’t go as I wanted them to,they brought happiness to me, made me look forward to going to school, and even taught me some life lessons. The crushes I have experienced throughout my life have helped me realize that people aren’t always what they seem, everything isn’t as important as you may think it is in the moment, and that life continues.
Towards the end of my fifth-grade year, I developed a crush on a boy named David Pizano. David lived down the road and was good friends with my brothers; naturally, I got to spend time around him after school. Like most twelve-year olds with a crush, I didn’t say much to him and was content with just getting to see him every day. It wasn’t necessarily his personality or charm that made me like him, it was his big brown eyes, wavy hair, and rabbit teeth. He was more on the popular side and didn’t really talk to or acknowledge me at school, but I overlooked all of that and decided to focus on the few conversations we had when the neighborhood squad hung out after school. I continued like this till school let out and even through the summer, but eventually my patience ran out.
As my sixth-grade year began I decided it was time to act like the middle-school student I was and act bolder. I longed to know if my feelings for David were requited so I took steps to find out. My best friend at the time, Raegan, and I had conjured up a plan. The plan was for her to ask David for me and then get back to me that way I wouldn’t get rejected directly. Little did I know that when you plan for things to happen, they don’t.
On a rainy fall day during my sixth-grade year, I built up the courage to ask David if he liked me. I had tried to prepare myself for the day by straightening my curly brown hair and wearing my “cutest” outfit. I ended up wearing skinny jeans, beat up converse, and a nice t-shirt. When lunch came around, Raegan and I sat on the lop-sided seats of an old gray table in the corner of lunch room as we began to discuss how the plan was going to go down. I glanced at David as I partially drowned out what Raegan was saying to me. “Okay, so I’ll catch up to him when we leave to the classroom and I’ll ask him if he likes you.” Raegan said straightforwardly noticing that I wasn’t listening to everything she was saying. “Should I really go through with this?” I asked my pale, brunette friend only to receive a bright brace-filled smile and excited nod from her. We waited for the teacher to call us so we could head back to the dingy and musky middle school hall.
As we made our way down the grimy leaf-covered pathway back to the building, Raegan walked to the front the line and caught up with David while I stayed behind to monitor the situation. My heart hammered against my chest as Raegan walked further and further away from me towards David. Anxiety crawled its way to my mind and I began to panic. The pulse of my heart rang in my head and I began to slightly hyperventilate. It was too late when I realized I wasn’t ready. I decided to run speedily after Raegan in hopes to shut the whole plan down, but when I caught up to her my gripless converse slid against the wet, slimy concrete and propelled me forward. After hearing a loud thud, feeling a high pitch yelp escape my voice box, and landing on my bum I realized I had just fallen in front of my crush. My face flushed a rosy hue, then I looked into David’s eyes and I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.
After dismissing the laughs and snickers of my peers, I got up and waited for Raegan to come back with an answer that would hopefully lift my spirits. “He said he doesn’t like you like that.” My heart sank to my stomach and the world stopped. I felt a painful lump form at the back of my throat, but I refused to let anyone see me cry so I held it in. I had a feeling that he didn’t like me, but I had hoped that he would. I became even more embarrassed upon realizing that I still had to go to the same class and ride the same bus as him before I could get home and forget about that horrible day. I somehow managed to make it through and continue with an unrequited silly sixth grade crush. In the end. I still liked David after he rejected me, and I eventually got over my most embarrassing moment of middle school. I came to learn that he as great as I thought he was and that my crush or embarrassing moment weren’t as important as they seemed at the time. I also learned that life will go on, much more important things will occur as you get older, and that with time healing will come.