I'd love to bid on this __________, but I can't be sure it is the real thing (or works/etc)
(guy at computer) Wait, auctioninspectors.com? That's interesting - they'll inspect the ____________ and answer my questions and provide photos! Wow, and they'll bid for me if a physical bid is required - and they pack and ship? And they have great plan options - I need to order an inspection right now!
(two guys standing - piano in background) Hi, I'm with Auction Inspectors, and I've been tasked with inspecting this piano - it's the one for auction, right? Guy 2 - yes - this is the one. I'll let you get to work - take all the photos you like.
Huh - the piano is labeled as "Brand X" and has serial number 243902C. A few of the keys are cracked, and the wood has scratches and scuffs around the keyboard and corners. Good pedal action. Now, I just upload my photos and hit "send."
Wow - my inspection report is already back! And it's a "Brand X" piano! Now I know exactly how much the piano is worth from 250 miles away.