A friend wrote me from the East, and ask that I called on good-natured, garrulous old Simon Wheeler and inquire after my friend's friend Leonidas W. Smiley. I have a lurking suspicion that Leonidas W. Smiley is a myth.
I will ask Simon Wheeler, but I do not believe that Leonidas W. Smiley is real. I am sure he is a myth.
Simon Wheeler sat and reeled off a monotonous narrative. He never smiled, he never frowned, he never changed his voice.
Good day, a friend of mine has commissioned me to inquire about a friend of his named Leonidas W. Smiley.
Well, there was a feller once here by the name Jim Smiley. I'll tell you about him.
Wheeler described Smiley as follows. He was the curiousest man always about betting on anything. If there was two birds setting down he would bet you on which one would fly first.
I bet you $5 that the green bird will fly off before the red bird does!
Wheeler said that if there was a horse race, you'd find Leonidas W. Smiley flush or you'd find him busted at the end of it.
My horse never loses! I bet you that my horse wins this race!
Wheeler said that one day he ketched a frog and took it home. He learned the frog to jump. He kept the frog in a lattice box and he would fetch him downtown to lay a bet. He made a bet with one man who put quail shots in Smiley's frog so that he could not jump, and Smiley could not win the bet.