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  • Bwahahah... I am the evil Mitchell Trubisky, I use the reduction of purchasing power, because no one wants my jersey!
  • And I'm the evil Cody Parkey! I use the drought power, because I am absolute garbage at kicking field goals!
  • I am the evil J.T. Realmuto! It took me forever to get traded, so the stock market crashed!
  • I am the evil Andrew McCutchen! I get payed way to much, so I have the power of bank failures!
  • I am the evil Khalil Mack! I am very annoying, so I use boll weevils to kill your crops!
  • I am the evil Aaron Nola! I am way too good for a team like the Phillies, so I use the overproduction of agricultural products power!
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