From as early as I can remember my confidence has been very fickle. Growing up constantly worried about what other people thought of me is something I deeply regret. There are a few moments in particular that I vividly recall.
In fifth grade I auditioned for the school play. I can still see myself dressing up in my room to practice all alone. I was so excited until I over heard two boys making fun of me for being the mayor of munchkinville, I soon quit.
I went to a summer camp and was too afraid to talk to new people. I was unsure of who I was, therefore was unsure why anyone would want to be my friend. I preferred eating my lunch in the bathroom, alone.
My parents had just bought me a brand new pair of DC shoes that I begged for. On the first day of school a boy in my class had the same pair. I never wore them again, because I didn't want to seem like a boy.
Although my dad coached my siblings soccer teams, I refused to let him coach mine. I was too concerned with what everyone on the team thought. I didn't want them to think I was favored.
Looking back now I realize how minuscule these problems were, and how far I blew them out of proportion. I regret allowing judgement from other people intervene with my childhood innocence. I sacrificed what I wanted to do and I will never do that again.