My name is Holden Caulfield I’m a 17 year old boy who’s got a lot of stuff to tell you from Christmas last year, but to make things short. My story begins at a lousy prep school, Pencey. Finally after getting beat up I decide it’s time and go back to New York. Along the way I meet “old friends” and “new friends” a real wise guy Maurice, a prostitute Sunny and boy did they make me loathe myself even more. But some time later I end up in therapy with a psychoanalyst until school starts up again and have to "apply myself".
Scene 1: The fight with Maurice
"It's ten bucks, chief. I tole ya that. Ten bucks for a throw, fifteen bucks till noon. I tole ya that."
"What I really felt like, though, was committing suicide. I felt like jumping out the window. I probably would've done it, too, if I'd been sure somebody'd cover me up as soon as I landed. I didn't want a bunch of stupid rubbernecks looking at me when I was all gory."
Scene 2: Holden's conversation with the Nuns
During the novel, Holden goes through a lot while leaving Pencey. He deals with a lot of problems and issues while out. One of which is self-loathing. At some points in the novel, Holden starts to show hatred towards himself, by things he does, and the way he acts.
In this scene, Holden wants to jump out the window and commit suicide after Maurice beats him up. He loathes himself because he didn’t fight back instead he back down. He’s always yellow and can never get into fights or defend himself in one.
In this scene, Holden is having a nice conversation with two nuns. He brings up the basket they have and asks them what it's for. They tell him it's for donations and he donates to them. While saying goodbye to them, he accidentally blows smoke into their face. He apologizes and they accepted his apology. After they leave, he starts to loathe himself for not only blowing smoke into their faces but also not giving them more money.