This is such a good attempt, at such a bad final product.
Initially, there was nothing in the Universe. Nobody to talk to, nobody to be with . . . God was lonely and he was bored. And although nothingness literally contradicts his existence, he couldn't bear the thought that he wasted billions of years watching nothing.
Shablam( As he conjures thoughts out of pure eccentricity).
Disappointed at his melancholy life, he decided that he needs some sort of company. He used his epic abilities to create, merge and form the planets, stars and everything inbetween.
breathing an air of benevolence, he sympathizes with the humans' weakness in the animal kingdom. too lazy to modify the creature at a fundamental level, So he gave them brains. mechanisms that would evolve and withstand the dawn of time.
EEK YOOOR MER PASHQ( You shall be known as humans).
He had a huge sentimentality. That was quite evident when he carved beasts out of mud. This was different, however, he had attempted to form feeble creatures.
I respect all my gods...
Oh my God -God
All hail the lord...
Several centuries later, however, the human species was quite cantankerous. Not only would they not cooperate, but they also had an instinctive drive for malevolence as a means to no end. This split the species into different groups, worshipping the same lord.
God isn't real. Belevin in God is passe and idiotic.
God's inability to properly unite the instinctive nature of humans' religiously, lead to morbid events such as the crusades. These events furthered the presence of God from the human species.
For Jerusalem! To arms knights!
That drove me insane(Yes a god isn't perfect)
Lazy as he was in creating the universe, he was in ending it. Though he had all the reasons in the book to do so, he decided not to. Instead, he decided to lead a painless life beyond the confines of humans' observable universe...