Soccer Mom Julia
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Oh, shut it, Soccer Mom Beth. You never bring your kids to Annual Track-And-Field day anyway so what does it matter.
What’s wrong, Soccer Mom Julia? You seem a little down in the dumps today and that’s not team spirit!
I don’t want you to care about me! I want you to care about my kids! Look how bad they’re doing, they fucking suck at soccer.
Well gee golly gosh that’s not very nice. I may not care about my children, but I still care about you.
Oh please. The coach hasn’t said a kind word all day and I can just FEEL the other soccer moms’ disdainful glares. They’ll never make it into Little League at this rate.
Mm, I don’t know. They seem to be killing it to me.
Of course I do. I spent all evening practicing kicks with Little Johnmower yesterday. But I’m the one who birthed them, so obviously I’m biased.
Well, do YOU think they’re any good?
I guess you’re right. They were probably all just looking at me weird because I was yelling and holding up this big sign that says “I LOVE MY KIDS.” Thanks, Soccer Mom Beth.
That’s what counts, then. As long as you know your kids are crushing it on the field, it doesn’t matter what the other moms think.
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