Soccer Mom Julia
Updated: 6/17/2020
Soccer Mom Julia
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Storyboard Text

  • Oh, shut it, Soccer Mom Beth. You never bring your kids to Annual Track-And-Field day anyway so what does it matter.
  • What’s wrong, Soccer Mom Julia? You seem a little down in the dumps today and that’s not team spirit!
  • I don’t want you to care about me! I want you to care about my kids! Look how bad they’re doing, they fucking suck at soccer.
  • Well gee golly gosh that’s not very nice. I may not care about my children, but I still care about you.
  • Oh please. The coach hasn’t said a kind word all day and I can just FEEL the other soccer moms’ disdainful glares. They’ll never make it into Little League at this rate.
  • Mm, I don’t know. They seem to be killing it to me.
  • Of course I do. I spent all evening practicing kicks with Little Johnmower yesterday. But I’m the one who birthed them, so obviously I’m biased.
  • Well, do YOU think they’re any good?
  • I guess you’re right. They were probably all just looking at me weird because I was yelling and holding up this big sign that says “I LOVE MY KIDS.” Thanks, Soccer Mom Beth.
  • That’s what counts, then. As long as you know your kids are crushing it on the field, it doesn’t matter what the other moms think.
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