Hi! My name is Candide! My cousin is the most beautiful girl in the world!
I'm so pretty!
All is for the best Candide. Even natural disasters. Even war. Even death and famine. Even suffering. It's for the best.
But daddy we were just experimenting philosophy!
NEVER COME NEAR MY DAUGHTER AGAIN!
Long ago, in the most beautiful of castles, lived a young and innocent Candide and the beautiful, curious, daughter of the Baron, Cunegonde.
They were both taught the optimistic philosophy of the oracle Pangloss. They were told that "All is for the best". Some may suffer for others to prosper, but it is for the good of the world. Cunegonde even sometimes found Dr. Pangloss experimenting natural philosophy in the garden with the wench.
One day, intending to dip her toes into the natural philosophy of which Pangloss unknowlingly introduced her to, Cunegonde lured Candide behind a screen and when the Baron found them kissing, he ran Candide out of the most beautiful of castles with several kicks to the backside.