As a child, she was thinking that her mother doesn't love her because she is fat. Whenever she felt deprived of love she treats herself with food. She eats food to make up for not having had enough love.
I couldn't get enough love from my mother because I was fat child.
She restricted herself with only 150 calories per day diet and she lost 80 pounds after 1 and half year. She can not restrict myself with this much of less diet so she starts t eating and didn't stop for 2 months and I gained 80 pounds in 2 months.
When I was 11, I started my first diet and then I graduated towards more radical diets.
She feels like she is an insane person with laking will power and she does not have any control over herself.
I could not live like this. so, I planned to kill myself.
For the first 25 years of my life, she had constantly feeling of not getting enough food. Now she is realizing that she is getting enough food and still lose weight.
Okay, I will give one week to myself.I will not do diet or binge.I will eat what I actually wants to eat.
She realized she has been shaming, punishing, torturing,and depriving herself for years around food and around who she was.
Maybe this whole thing of food is an expression of something deeper.
She was using food to run away from my feeling of not being loved, but she realized everything you believe about life, about what you deserve, about what enough is, about whether you want is possible for you shows up on your plate.The world is on your plate.
No matter how developed you are in any other areas of life,what you say, you believe, how you eat says it all.