Wagner - Taylor Swift, Maker of All
By emilywagner, Updated
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In the beginning, there was nothing. Nothing in the empty universe besides Taylor Swift and her guitar. She would spend her time creating sad songs and busting out rad melodies with her guitar. Millions of years passed this way, Taylor sitting in space, writing song after song. Then one day, Taylor created the saddest song possible and began to cry. The teardrops landed on her guitar and began to make an ocean. Her guitar became the ground, and her teardrops became all of the water and seas. This came to be the Earth.
She liked the earth, but it needed more color. She smiled at the ground and plants began to sprout. Making flowers, fruit, and vegetables of every color variation possible. Taylor felt that her earth was a tad cold for these new plants. She needed to heat it up. So her long, flowing, blonde locks began to give off energy, making the sun to warm her earth. She decided to create a pair of cute, little friends to keep her company. She named these creatures Meredith and Olivia. Meredith and Olivia became the first cats to exist.
They quickly populated Taylor’s new world with more cats. Meredith and Olivia were the basis for all of earth’s life and the “New Cats” occupied all of earth's land. They evolved over time to become the creatures we have today. Sky Cats became the birds, Wet Cats became the sea life, Small Cats became the bugs and bacteria, and some cats stayed the same, to embody Taylor's original two creations throughout time.
She was happy with all that she created, but was still lonely. Taylor needed someone like her to keep her company for the rest of time. Taylor Swift realized that making the perfect specimen wouldn’t be easy and would take a very long time. She created a human race in her perfect image and gave them the command that she wanted them to spend their time as they wish, but they needed to breed, and in thousands of years, her equal would be born. Every time a new child was born, Taylor would descend from the heavens to see if the child was “The One”, this went on for thousands of years.
Finally, in the year 1999 A.D. (After back to December’s release), The One, was born. She was a perfect baby girl. Her name was Emily Brianna Wagner. Taylor saw this, as she saw everything, and was pleased. Her equal was finally born. Soon, her thousands of years of work to make the perfect wife would finally pay off.
She waited until Emily was of consenting age and took her up to the heavens where Taylor lived with her original two beings, Meredith and Olivia. Taylor and Emily now reside in the heavens, in holy matrimony. Taylor spends her days singing to Emily, while Emily pets Meredith and Olivia and supports Taylor’s career, as a good wife should. They have a very healthy relationship and will be together until the end of time.
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