Henry IV

Henry IV
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  • Hotspur: And you in hell, whenever he hears someone say “Owen Glendower.”
  • Mortimer: These commitments are reliable, our allies are solid, and the beginning of our project bodes well.
  • Glendower: I say there was an earthquake when I was born.
  • Hotspur: And I say that if you think the earth shook because it was afraid of you, then the earth and I do not agree.
  • Hotspur: Lord Mortimer, and kinsman Glendower, won’t you please sit? And Uncle Worcester—Dammit! I forgot the map!
  • Glendower: I don’t blame him. The sky was full of fiery meteors and comets when I was conceived, and when I was born, the entire earth shook like a coward.
  • Wales
  • England
  • Hotspur:Oh! Then the earth trembled when it saw the heavens on fire, and not in fear of your birth. When nature is diseased, strange eruptions can break forth. Often, the earth is pinched with a kind of colic, and troubled by gas in her belly. When that gas struggles to be released, it shakes old Mother Earth, bringing down steeples and moss-covered towers. When you were born, our Mother Earth was ill and shook with pain.
  • Glendower: The heavens were all on fire, and the earth trembled.
  • Owen Glendower: Here it is. Sit, kinsman Percy. Sit, good cousin Hotspur. For that is the name King Henry calls you, and whenever he says it, he grows pale, and with a sigh he wishes you were in heaven.
  • Hotspur: Why, the same thing would have happened if your mother’s cat had given birth to kittens that day, whether you’d been born or not.
  • Glendower: All right, here’s the map. Shall we divide up our territories according to our three-way agreement?
  • Mortimer: Enough already; stop this useless talking.
  • Glendower: Three times now, Henry Bolingbroke has raised an army against mine. And three times, I turned him back from the banks of the River Wye, and the sandy-bottomed River Severn. I sent him home, bootless and beaten by foul weather.
  • Mortimer: The Archdeacon has divided the land into three very equal parts. All of England southeast of the Trent and Severn rivers goes to me. All of Wales, and everything west of the Severn—including all the fertile land within those boundaries—goes to Owen Glendower. And, my dear kinsman, you get everything that remains to the north, coming up from the Trent. Our agreement is drawn up in triplicate. We can all sign it tonight, and then, kinsman Percy, tomorrow you, me, and Worcester will set off to meet your father and the Scottish army at Shrewsbury, as planned. My father-in-law Glendower isn’t ready yet, but we won’t need his army for another two weeks. (to GLENDOWER) By that time, you will have raised an army of the farmers on your land, your allies, and your neighbors.
  • Wales
  • England
  • Hotspur: You sent him home without his boots, and in foul weather? How in the devil’s name did he avoid catching fevers?
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