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  •   "Toilets?"I asked Wayne, "We're going to go all the way down there to break in and take a leak?"(21)
  • "Do u know how much toilets go for?"- Wayne (21)
  • "And what's your master plan for selling them--set up on a corner downtown, 'Wanna buy a toilet? Wanna buy a toilet?'"(22)
  • "I ever tell you about my uncle Ron? The one who who runs a plumbing supply store?"(22)
  • "Don't worry," Wayne told me. "People will just think we're bums collecting pop cans or something."(23)
  • Setting the flashlight to wide beam, we found two bathrooms upstairs. Since we'd figured the cart had a two-toilet capacity, we couldn't believe our luck.  One-stop shopping!(23)
  • You never think how heavy a toilet is until you try and heave it down the hall. We ended up dragging it to the top of the stairs.(24)
  • "Good,"he said."The water Isn't hooked up yet.Don't have to worry about a flood."(23)
  • "Now how the hell am I gonna write this up?" a strange voice said from downstairs.(25)
  • End of story,except for the arrest,the booking, the sentence to an eternity of community service, the humiliation,the restitution and the parental barring of any contact between me and Wayne for the rest of our natural lives(which lasted about eight months--the barring, not our lives). So that's how my life of crime ended, not with a bang but a flush. Grand theft potty.(25)
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