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I believe that the title of the book, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close", forshadows the relationship between Oskar and his mother after his father passed away.
Oskar struggles to move on past his father's death in the 9/11 attack fearing the thought of him forgetting his father and not giving him the mourning that he deserves.
This is conveyed through the Grandfather's flashbacks to his memories before and after the bombing of Dresden. That was a traumatic event in which he lost his family, the girl he loved, and the life he thought was ahead of him.
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