Let's begin by talking about your grades and what you hope to achieve by the end of highschool?
I don't really care about my grades right now to be honest, I guess I'll apply to schools eventually...
Ok, well if you don't pick up your grades by the end of the semester, post secondary might not be an option for you at this point in your life.
Well I don't want to apply just to get rejected so what's the point in putting in the effort to pick up my grades if I'm just going to end up in the same place?
You need to focus on not being so negative and limiting yourself. If you really see yourself in school down the road you need to work on how you perceive yourself and what you can do to accomplish your goals.
I just can't find the motivation to apply myself, if I put in the work of getting better grades and I end up not getting into the schools I want to go to I know I'll feel like more of a failure.
Going forward, it is in your best interest to focus on bringing your grades up and maybe instead of attending university right away, you apply for colleges and then move on if you think it is a good fit for you.