Updated: 3/25/2020

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  • A cruise, hooray!!
  • You get a cruise! YOU get a cruise! And you ALSO GET A CRUISE!!
  • I'd like the boat to stay in warm water locations, please.
  • Aye, aye! No problem!
  • St. Barts
  • Jamaica
  • Bahamas
  • Oprah decides to throw a party on a yacht & invites her closest friends on a 7-day Caribbean cruise.
  • Yaaaaaay!
  • Oooh ooh ooooo...
  • She hires a charter company to provide an experienced captain and crew.
  • What is going on here?!
  • UGH! I'm going to be seasick!
  • Keep her steady!
  • The contract states that the yacht is to set sail from Miami and “remain in the warm waters of the Caribbean”, stopping in the Bahamas, Turks & Caicos, Jamaica, St. Barts and the Cayman Islands.
  • This was the WORST cruise in the history of cruises!
  • Oprah enters into a contract with Beyoncé to provide entertainment during the voyage. Beyoncé failed to show up so Oprah agreed to a last minute contract with Mariah Carey, who was already planning to be on the cruise. Upset at being 2nd choice, Mariah agreed to sing only 4 songs total.
  • The yacht’s crew becomes lost during the cruise and steers the boat into the middle of the Atlantic where water is much rougher and the temperatures are significantly colder.
  • The cruise lasts for only 3 days, docking once in the Bahamas before returning to Miami.