I was driving home from work and I was prepared to tell my wife the bad news. I knew she wouldn't take it well but I had to do it.
How are you?
Please just sit down and listen. There is this job opportunity that I need, so i'm sorry to say it at a time like this, but i'm leaving.
She said she would cook but I reminded her that I was leaving, yet she ignored me, got a lamb leg, and when I thought she started cooking, everything went blurry and I was dead. Wait how do I know i'm dead?
She left and and came back with some groceries and acted like she just found out I was dead, so she called the cops and told them I was killed by "someone".