I declare thee to fight for my daughter's (who's not my daughter but seems like my daughter but is actually my sister-in-law) hand in marriage
Emily: I just want to be a virgin forever
Palamon: I just want Emily *cries*
Diana: That's tough, but you're already destined
Arcite: I want to win!!
Venus: I want her for you *cries because love is great*
And the winner is: Arcite!!!!!
HAHAHAHAH I have won the battle!!
NOOOOOOO!!! EMILY MY LOVE!!
Theseus and his entourage sees them arguing and stops them, then proceeds to give them an opportunity to fight for Emily's hand in marriage.
*Says long speech about Palamon being a great person* ….. 5 minutes later, dies. RIP ARCITE
Palamon, Emily, and Arcite each visit a temple of a different roman mythological god or goddess. Palamon going to the temple of Venus: goddess of love, Emily goes to the temple of Diana: goddess of chastity, and Arcite going tot the temple of Mars; god of war
Palamon: "I love you" Emily:" I love you too i guess"
Battle commences and Arcite wins and Palamon loses.
That's all folks!
But, Arcite gets horribly injured by his horse and says a well thought out and meticulous speech and then dies because of improper doctoral skills they had back then.
Palamon gets (haha as if shes an object) Emily and they live happily ever after (or at least that's what the story says lol)