This is the most awkward Wednesday I've ever known.
In the beginning of our story, there lived a respectable, predictable hobbit, Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag-End. Bilbo accidentally entertained thirteen dwarves and a wizard named Gandalf on accident and was surrounded by uncomfortable talk of dragons and goblins.
Bilbo was able to unlock his friends from the Wood-Elves' dungeons and float them down the river in barrels to a place called Lake Town.
I shall send you on an adventure!
Alive without breath, As cold as death. Never thirsty, always drinking. All in mail, never clinking.
After his narrow escape from the goblins, Bilbo got lost in the winding caves and played a high-stakes riddle game in the dark against a strange creature named Gollum and won a valuable ring.
What!!! Alive without breath? Oh, no...
After enduring starvation and poison in the depths of Mirkwood, the dwarves are captured and interrogated by Wood-Elves. Bilbo, however, avoided capture by the use of his ring.
After Smaug's death, creatures came flocking to get a share in the great hoard of gold. The Battle of Five Armies was fought between the Elves, Dwarves, Men, Eagles, and Beorn and the Goblins and Whargs.
I demand to know what you are doing in my lands!
Maybe if you feed us and set us free! Or not...
So c-c-c-cold...
I come from under the hill, and under hills and over the hills my paths led. And through the air, I am he that walks unseen
Bilbo was sent, as the party's official burglar, to steal the dragon's treasure and find out about any weaknesses that Smaug might have. He had a rather unnerving conversation with Smaug, which included some clever riddling on his part.
