Affection impacts behavior
After they sent her away : “I used to try to hold and love her after she came back, but her body would stay stiff, and after a while she’d push away. She ate little. Food sickened her, and I think much of life too.”
History cannot change
“But, because I have been dredging the past, and all that compounds a human being is so heavy and meaningful in me, i cannot endure it tonight. I will never total it all.”
Regret fuels reflection
“In this and other ways she leaves her seal, I say aloud. And startle at my saying it. What do I mean? What did i start to gather together, to try and make coherent? I was the terrible growing years. War years.”
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