The year was 2081, and everyone was finally equal. thanks to the 211th, 212th, and 213th Amendments and the work of the Handicapper general everyone was equal in every way. Some things still weren't perfect. April drove people crazy for not being spring time and it was in this month that the H-G men took George and Hazel Bergeron's son, Harrison, away.
To make sure everyone was equal the Handicapper General gave people who were above average handicaps. Gorge who as smarter and little stronger than the average person had a little radio in his ear which made loud noises every 20 sec or so and a brace of birdshot to weigh him down, but Hazel who was perfectly average had no handicaps.
George and Hazel are watching Ballet dancers on TV. They were just as good as anyone could have been because of their handicaps. A loud noise is played on the radio and George and two of the dancers wince
What did that one sound like?
Like some one hitting a milk bottle with a ball peen hammer.
A reporter interrupted the dance to share some important news, but since he, like all reporters, had a speech impediment he gave up after a while and let a ballerina speak for him. She said
"Harrison Bergeron, age fourteen, has just escaped from jail, where he was held on suspicion of plotting to overthrow the government. He is a genius and an athlete, is under-handicapped, and should be regarded as extremely dangerous.
There was an earthquake and following it Harrison walked in to the studio. "I am the emperor", he shouted as he easily removed all his extensive handicaps.
I am the Emperor
He told the ballerinas that the first one to rise would become his empress. The main dancer rose and Harrison tore off her handicaps. Then they danced. they jumped higher and higher almost touching the ceiling.
Diana Moon Glampers, the Handicapper General, came into the studio with a double-barreled ten-gauge shotgun. She fired twice, and the Emperor and the Empress were dead before they hit the floor.