Let's be honest, thanks to the teachings of Jonathan Edwards, times are changing. but don't worry, we are still godly enough to burn witches at the stake when it's needed.
Thanks to the Mayflower Compact, our government system of democracy and self government make us the superior colony for anyone who wants the best for everyone.
We might not be farmers, but we have control of a market barely tapped anywhere else: the sea! Our fishing of cod, whaling, and other business ventures like the timber industry has created plenty of job opportunities for aspiring merchants or seamen.
There have been rumors about our harsh winters, and we'll have you now the death rate is only in the teens, and in fact, our winters reduce the spread of disease and so we aren't all dying from sickness.
Looking for a good place to live as a family? The strong family values here make the New England colonies perfect for you!
And hey, when it comes down to it, at least we aren't a bunch of farmers who die young like those fools down South.