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Updated: 8/27/2020
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Storyboard Text

  • ONE FATEFUL SUNDAY AFTERNOON IN THE CHURCH...
  • Dear God, Dear Lord, the all loving God, I thank You for Your holy might, for making me both rich and white.
  • Though this is Your day of rest, I come to you with one request. There's so much pain beyond this steeple, wars and drugs and homeless people. Sadness where there should be joy, hate, rape, and Soulja Boy. A world in darkness needs your light, so I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight.
  • But, uh, my dog just had leg surgery. Can you attend to that first?
  • I'M SORRY, WHAT?!
  • What?! What's so wrong with asking something from God?! He's MY GOD I HAVE A RIGHT TO ASK HIM FOR SOMETHING JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO.
  • That's not how it works. God's not your genie or your personal slave. It's okay to ask for something, but to assume that you'd get special treatment isn't it.
  • UGH, GOD. PLEASE SHUT THIS MAN UP.
  • END.
  • I'm switching churches next week.
  • This skit is heavily inspired by Bo Burnham's RANT.
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