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  • So, tell me about yourself. Why would you like to work for our company, and why should we hire you?" 
  • So, what would you consider to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses?
  • "Hello, it's nice to meet you." Mr. B said kindly."Yeah . . . " the Interviewee mumbled."Have a seat and we'll get started."
  • What is your greatest professional achievement? Where do you see yourself in five years? . . . No."
  • "I'd like this job so I can get payed. My eighteen emotional support cats' stomachs are getting hungry, yeah? They've started eating my neighbor's birds. So, hire me to save lives!"
  • What's your dream job? . . . How would your friends and coworkers describe you?
  • "I don't have a weakness. I'm above such things, which is prob why my strengths are being a cool guy and all. Obvious, right?"
  • Thank you for your time.
  • "Oh! No, no, no. I don't do professional. My greatest achievement is just . . . being, you know? Like, in the moment? In five years I'd like to be in Southern France on vacation. By the way, does this company do paid vacations, cause' that'll be a necessity! "
  • "My dream job is being a opera singer. I auditioned recently, but . . . I guess . . . Uh . . . They didn't like my voice? I dunno, man. My friends have always thought my voice was perfect, so the lady definitely needed some hearing aids. Especially after I bumped her onto the floor! By accident, but it was sooooo funny, you should've seen it!"
  • "No need. Time is an illusion, anyway, and career life is only so important. If you need any opera tapes, message me."
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