So, tell me about yourself. Why would you like to work for our company, and why should we hire you?"
So, what would you consider to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses?
"Hello, it's nice to meet you." Mr. B said kindly."Yeah . . . " the Interviewee mumbled."Have a seat and we'll get started."
What is your greatest professional achievement? Where do you see yourself in five years? . . . No."
"I'd like this job so I can get payed. My eighteen emotional support cats' stomachs are getting hungry, yeah? They've started eating my neighbor's birds. So, hire me to save lives!"
What's your dream job? . . . How would your friends and coworkers describe you?
"I don't have a weakness. I'm above such things, which is prob why my strengths are being a cool guy and all. Obvious, right?"
Thank you for your time.
"Oh! No, no, no. I don't do professional. My greatest achievement is just . . . being, you know? Like, in the moment? In five years I'd like to be in Southern France on vacation. By the way, does this company do paid vacations, cause' that'll be a necessity! "
"My dream job is being a opera singer. I auditioned recently, but . . . I guess . . . Uh . . . They didn't like my voice? I dunno, man. My friends have always thought my voice was perfect, so the lady definitely needed some hearing aids. Especially after I bumped her onto the floor! By accident, but it was sooooo funny, you should've seen it!"
"No need. Time is an illusion, anyway, and career life is only so important. If you need any opera tapes, message me."