I am not a real police man. I just wanted you to give our pre-vape party speech, and tell us why vaping is great!!!
We will gladly explain why vaping is suuuuch a great option! I am so glad that some adults finally agree with us kids. People are always telling me I am throwing away my life. But every time I vape, my head and heart tell me Life is just getting better!!!
Vaping saved my life. I used to smoke, and I was addicted. It was terrible! Now I vape, and I am addicted! It's just fabulous! I know I am making healthier lifestyle decisions, even if I am making myself a slave to a little rectangular device. Ding!! Oh I just got a text. Ok, anyway, vaping is just so healthy.
I never intend to stop vaping. It's not that I was ever smoking before. You know over 70% of the teens who vape, vaped before they ever smoked a real cigarette. Honestly, with how great vaping is, I am about ready to start smoking regular cigarettes! I also think that the government should distribute e-cigs and vaping pens to those in need, so that they can participate in the worldwide sacrifice of our wills. These vaping pens pretty much control my life, which is good, because I don't really have to think about anything anymore. All I ever think about is...Just One... More... Vape.
I started vaping, because I thought everybody did it. Turns out, less than 25% of highschool students actually vape. Oh well, now I am hooked, I can't stop, and I don't want to! I found out that vaping also affects cognition abilities, I was not able to do homework as quickly, and my grades started dropping drastically. I would have stopped, and my parents told me to, but they smoke cigarettes all the time, so I don't see any harm in it. I think that if adults want me to act differently, they should set a better example.
So many people have joined our nation of teenage vaping. I think it's great becau-----
Exuse me. Uh, um, not to be rude to you sir, but this sounds pretty bad to me